Comments on: Leaving a Mark

By: KC Ward

KC Ward — Thu, 02 Jun 2011 21:33:54 +0000

These are some very weighty questions you have tasked us to answer. As a parent I do realize the great influence I have over the growth and development of my children. Questions 5 and 6 are ones that I battle with as I try to find balance between being an over-protective mother and allowing my child to experience life.

Recently I had guests for an extended stay in my home. The couple and their 3 young children were welcome company during their stay. There was some conflict, however, when I asked the mother to not say certain things around my son. She reacted negatively to my request and felt that I was attempting to control her. Ever sinceI learned of her feelings, I have been looking inward to see if perhaps I was being “judgemental” as she had described. This post has really helped me to put things in perspective and I will be studying this one for some time to come.

Thanks!

By: Alan E. Nelson, EdD

Alan E. Nelson, EdD — Mon, 11 Apr 2011 21:36:32 +0000

Love Barna’s work on young leader development, specifically. Like the old commercial goes, I liked the project so well, I bought the company. Actually, we started a dynamic leadership training organization called KidLead (www.kidlead.com) and authored a book on the subject and writing another book now. We’re now in 12 states and 6 countries and have a faith-based version for churches and Christian schools and a character based format for the rest of the world. It’s pretty exciting. Thanks, George!

By: Adri Braam

Adri Braam — Mon, 15 Nov 2010 18:04:06 +0000

We are one of those environments where parents drop of their kids. Have been for the last 28 years. There is just one rule I think is most important. Relax! Trust the Lord that He will do the best He can to guide and steer each individual from the cradle al the way to eternity.
If a child needs special attention OK that is different but there is one aspect of children which the Lord alluded to as well (Matt. 18:3), and that is innocence. Innocence is a trust and a willingness to be led. First we are led by loving parents (hopefully), and then this is supposed to develop into a trust and willingness to be led by the Lord.
There is no more important aspect in raising a child than to protect that innocence. Children have the innocence of ignorance (especially before sex-education) and then there is the life-long road of development to the innocence of wisdom at old age.

By: D Tro

D Tro — Mon, 26 Jul 2010 19:06:00 +0000

I’ve learned, as a result of my growing-up environment, that you will either be an active-encouraging personality or a passive-discouraging personality. There is not standing on the line between them, not foot-in-both – it’s either one or the other. When my wife and I learned 23 years ago that we would be parents I determined then to be different than what I’d grown up under and to be an active-encouraging, affirming, cheerleader and sponsor not just to my own children (we have 4 now) but to everyone else I encounter. People are drawn to effective leadership, that mentors and encourages, teaches and allows for room to fail so learning can take place, but where lesson opportunities can be pointed out in an adult like way so that a desire to learn will take place. God bless us all.

By: GenDad

GenDad — Sun, 23 May 2010 13:34:35 +0000

I’m back. Stirred up, too. George prodded us to ponder with him. I did. Now back to re-read and print off his “Mark” stuff.

But what is making the biggest impact at this moment is Jim’s harsh, hurt, angry response. I’m moved. “They” tell us the biggest life impact occurs by 6. Musta been Hell about then for Jim. It brings to bear the terrible truth of Scripture that the sins of the father continue their “mark” through three and four generations. In steps God’s Grace and the “spell” can be broken; grandfather’s bent away from godliness can be turned toward Him in the ensuing generation(s).

My wife and I each broke our fathers’ bad bend, one was a prominent Christian. As now grandparents, we are active–no, commited–to co-parenting with our children. My assignment as a father, even if I were divorced, never changes. Thus, my handle GenDad.

My wish for a world full of Jims is that God’s Grace will break the cycle to leave a legacy of Hope vice bitterness and pain.

By: Jim Roberts

Jim Roberts — Thu, 20 May 2010 15:08:41 +0000

The mark that many parents leave is one of NEGLECT and/or ABUSE.

It is almost to the point that children are treated like inconvenient, sophisticated pets.

Drop them off at the kiddie kennel or get a babysitter or nanny to put them in front of the TV pacifier.
Get toys or electronics as pacifiers.

The selfish, immature, protracted adolescent, vanity laden “parents” have to play with their toys, self medicate themselves with mind altering dope and/or entertainment, and socialize with their ego supporting friends and be involved in their career projects.

Divorce has been labeled by behavioral science professionals as a form of child abuse.

Humans are deceievd, LAW trashing, GOD hating (Jer 17:9/Rom 8:7) rebellious criminals on penal colony EARTH run by warden SATAN.
God has a gospel REHAB program, but most of the Christian clergy have people on a substitute gospel of Babylon booze and doctrinal dope.

By: GenDad

GenDad — Sun, 16 May 2010 04:42:32 +0000

This was writing day. Got snagged by your blog accidentally.
Long a fan with deep appreciation for your insights, I spent my entire evening on your blog. Powerful, George. Thanks for the thoughtful, thought-filled time on it.
This post alone is huge since the book my therapist soninlaw/best friend and I are shaping is poised to answer these very questions in the context of partner fathering. Its about making an effort to bring the forgotten generation, the one out improving their golf handicap or whittling on the porch, in to the challenge of preparing the next generation for the very, very rough times ahead.
It really is about the marks, about legacy. It’s not about yet another formulated plan for fathering, the American independent success story. It’s Dad on Dad with the Father for them. It’s about showing and telling The Story and our stories so they will live it, tell it for generation after generation.