Over the years I’ve had some interesting experiences that have taught me helpful insights about trust.
When I began Barna Research Group (as it was originally known), our first significant client was Disney. It was odd because Disney’s VP of Research called me out of the blue. The call was placed by their research director, a woman I had previously worked with at a large media research firm. After some discussion, she asked if I’d be interested in taking on some of Disney’s work. Trying to get a toehold in the research industry, I was ecstatic, but asked her why she’d offer such a privilege to a virtually non-existent company. “Because I know I can trust you,” was her reason. Upon further questioning, she described her observation of my honesty in telling clients the truth rather than what they wanted to hear, and a commitment to conducting research properly, even if it cost more or took extra time. She said that in her experience with research suppliers those qualities were hard to find.
Fast forward 10 years to a hospital in Denver. I have an incurable disease that affects my vocal cords and requires periodic surgery. (Eighteen operations and counting…) I had heard about a surgeon in Denver who had a “cure” for the disease. I flew to Denver to discuss his process and his past results, which were very impressive. I decided to allow him to use the treatment on me, which was administered during the usual surgery. To make a long story short, I nearly died on the operating table. Afterwards, confused about the outcome and searching for an explanation, I dug more deeply into his research process only to realize that the numbers he trumpeted were grossly inaccurate. I had trusted him because of his pedigree, his position and his presentation of the “facts.”
Think about your role as a leader, and the importance of having people’s trust. Why do they trust you? Have you earned it based on stellar character and performance or is it based on their unfounded hope that you will justify their faith in you?
Over the years I have thought about how we can earn people’s trust. The best lessons for me have come by studying God, whom I have learned to trust implicitly. I had to ask myself why that is. Sure, the scriptures say we should trust God with all our heart, but I’ve been burned too often to blindly trust anyone anymore. So what makes God trustworthy?
Your experience may lead to different conclusions, but my trust in Him is based on the fact that He is very clear and upfront about His values and expectations backed up by His consistency. He has proven to be predictable and reliable in what He has communicated, how He has treated me, and in His responses to people throughout history. He has earned my respect and trust through such consistency. Even when I do not agree with His decisions, I have to admit that they are consistent with His expressed ethics and innate character. And it is much easier to trust someone who has made his non-negotiables clear through simplicity and repetition.
I have also been moved to trusting Him because it seems evident that He genuinely cares about me. Trust relates to the belief that the other person wants what is best for both of us. That has become an important insight for me. Over the years I have interacted with business partners and ministry leaders who have been honest and upfront, but whose purposes are consistently selfish and competitive. I know they will do whatever it takes to win what they seek.
Another way of stating these things is that the Lord’s trust has been earned by His character and performance, and His performance is predictable on the basis of His character. The consistency between the two tells me that He can be trusted even in situations in which I have no direct experience with how He will behave; what I have experienced causes me to believe it is reasonable to have faith in Him.
By the way, I think the trust issue is one with which President Obama is struggling in ways different than he expected. When he was elected, the public gave him what we might call “tentative trust” – belief in him based on what they had experienced during the campaign, but not sufficiently deep as to give him free reign. Believing he had a broad mandate to change government and lifestyles in the U.S. the president began pursuing sweeping and expensive reforms in the midst of financial collapse and uncertainty, without having earned people’s trust. After all, he had never governed anything in his life, he was black (i.e., representing a group of people previously not trusted at that level of leadership), and his agenda was only vaguely clear in its implications. Had he moved at a more moderate pace, perhaps he would be facing less opposition and arrived in a place of “earned trust.”
Personally, I wonder if I have earned trust in leadership situations by being a man of consistent character, one who is worthy of respect and loyalty based not on my words but on my actions. It’s one of those questions that is worth pondering on a regular basis.
May 12, 2010
Excellent topic! I had a discussion with a friend of mine recently about this very subject. We have both left the institutional church and came to the conclusion that as Christians there is an expectation placed on us to trust fellow believers fully simply because they follow Jesus. In the church setting you’re invited to open up and pour your heart out to people who you haven’t gotten to know on a personal basis yet. This happens in Bible studies, small groups, etc. It can be likened to an emotional one night stand. Then later, you realize you gave that person too much trust too soon, and often you go away hurt because there was no foundation of trust built. Then there is the flip side to this. If you don’t spill your guts you end up being accused of “not trusting” others, which can be translated into “not trusting God in relationships.” The church has taken the phrase “love one another” and morphed it into a message of immediate soul exposure. I don’t think Jesus calls us to this honestly. We’re instructed to guard our hearts and be wise.
September 2, 2010
you are so on point, after “several” small groups where you are to share your struggles, hidden sins, life, etc, I ALWAYS left away with more damage than when I came. The last straw was when I was in a weekly group, and my mother passed. No acknowledgment, no phone call, nothing. brokenhearted, when I made a statement about it, I was “trusting man and not God”, Huh? Isn’t that the purpose of the group? So on that note, I kissed the church goodbye, I have no use for it anymore
May 12, 2010
This is excellent. Trust is something that is scarcer these days especially because most people have been let down by someone. Even among Christian we have become more cautious or tentative in our trust. For me this opens the door to a lot of questions. How do you stop having the impact of being let down by others affect your trusting God? But also asking myself, how consistent am I? Am I trustworthy? Are my principles walked out? Does my care and concern for others motivate me? Do I earn others trust? And value it and protect it after it is earnt? I would like to think so and maybe this opportunity to reflect and become more aware will make that more consistently true.
May 14, 2010
Kudos on your life’s work George. The first book of yours that I read was The Frog and the Kettle–which dates both of us. Useful, interesting, influential, and professional. Speaking for myself, you are trustworthy for me because what you do is backed up by validated research and data, not conjecture or pathos or branding.
OK, after 15 years of being a pastor I left it and have not returned to Christianity. At this point I would tag myself as post-clergy, post-Church, post-Chrstian, post-Truth and post-faith. And present-?. I’d also say postmodern but it has become such a cliche I’m not sure what it means anymore. The whole shift for me is about trust. I’ve just been burned (in the name of Jesus) too many times. Certainly this is about both my own cynicism and also the general lack of integrity and substance in organized Christianity.
So, here are my questions: first, is there such a thing anymore as trustworthy, organized Christianity in America at this point? And if so, where is it and what makes it trustworthy in your view? And second, are there trend lines that are predicting where it might emerge?
May 19, 2010
This may sound cliche’ but the Bible clearly tells us not to trust in Christianity, religion, people,etc but in Christ. When people put their faith or hope in a Church, Church leaders, The Church, Christianity, etc – they are bound to be let down. Trust Jesus, my friend.
‘The Church’ has consistently burned me and in the surface level matters non-Christians even seem easier to get along with than the Christians – but there is a difference. I was reminded of this when I went to a meeting of a non-Christian group I am a member of (they curse and yelled and hated… and it was a relatively normal meeting) and then I headed over to a meeting of a Christian group I was part of (they were having a debate but you could barely tell).
Christians consistently fail to obey Jesus and His Bible, their faith is mostly shaped by media and culture, they are lead by their flesh… and if you are post-Christian, well don’t you fit into that description with the rest of us? I really try to live a committed lifestyle (see Mellis, “Committed Communities” or Winter’s Two Models Essay) but I fail often. Nevertheless it has been hugely grievous to me as a pastor when congregational member, friend, Christian… etc does not do what a Christian should and undermines ministry, me, or Christ’s work. I have learned to be more serene about it and I am developing a ministry strategy for the confrontations (‘don’t let your good be evil spoken of’). It is painful and the toughest of jobs but isn’t it our job to be faithful? to be the remnant?
Return to Jesus my friend; HE is waiting.
~Bryan Who Hurts Too.
May 17, 2010
Trust issues also effects tons of church leadership teams and working relationships between Pastors. No one trusts anyone? Is the root issue we are afraid to be who we really are, or we are too open to who we really are.
May 31, 2010
Hi John…I too am saddened by your apparent departure from the Christian faith due mostly to the actions of fellow human beings. As Bryan also stated, the Lord calls you to serve Him and Him only; not the modern Church, nor self serving, selfish, fleshly, weak people. Christ calls us to “stand”. Stand no matter what. Christ paid the ultimate price for your sins. His sacrifice still stands even now. Recommit yourself to Him and Him alone. His Spirit will guide you until the day you are to meet Him. With love from another saved by Christ.
Peter